Being a mum of multiples was not something I had ever imagined in my wildest dreams but then not many mums of multiples do unless there are a lot of twins in their family. The last person to have twins in my family were my great grandparents (my grandads parents). When you first find out the shock, joy and mostly fear hit you hard. All sorts of questions go through your head. How will you manage with 2 babies, how are you going to make space in your home, are they going to be healthy, will I cope with the pregnancy. Having already had 2 children, one (Skie) being a very content baby, sleeping through, eating well and another (Jack) whom didn’t sleep, screamed constantly and was a fussy eater I was terrified. What if one was like Skie and the other like Jack or both like Jack and I don’t get any sleep for the next 2 years. Then you get home and do your research and find a majority of mulitple pregnancies end early and the babies are premature so you worry even more. I spent my pregnancy worried but was one of those ones who thought it wouldnt happen to me, but, I was wrong and the girls arrived at 30 weeks, 10 weeks early. Our nicu (neonatal intensive care unit) stay was relatively straight forward compared to most which we are extremely greatful for and they came home after 5 weeks.
Homecoming was a whole new experience. Something I was not expecting upon trying to get back to day to day life was the ‘twin trivia’ that happened daily. Everytime you leave the house you get stopped by all sorts of people and you get the questions that now when the girls are nearly 2 I am bored of answering. They are;
Are they twins?
Are they boys or girls? (Even when they are head to toe in pink)
Were they natural?
Are they identical?
Do twins run in your family?
Did you have a cesearian?
As you can see some of these qusetions, when asked by a stranger are extremely personnal and not something you want to discuss in the street with a stranger. The natural question and birth question really get to me and do make me angry. Does it matter if I had IVF or if they were concieved naturally? In all honestly do you actually care? Do you really need to know if I had a cesarian or not? What difference does it make? Yes I know people are only showing an interest and I probably sound harsh but when it takes 2 hours to do a 10 minute shopping trip its annoying! I dont see that same person who has just quizzed me, asking the mum behind me who has a newborn all these questions. It make me feel like me and my girls are a freak show sometimes and at one point I didn’t want to leave the house.
Another way of dealing with it is to let them talk and just nod in the right place cos they will always tell u about how their auntys cousin twice removed had twins and they will ask the questions and answer it themselves. Are they girls? Oh yes they must be (i nod) are they identical, they look it (i nod cos we dont actually know if they are or not) are there twins in the family (i answer yes as Toms brothers and his nan are twins but what I fail to tell them is it had nothing to do with Toms genetics its was all me but they wont care or believe me so i keep quiet) and then they go on their merry way all smiles cos they met twins, mean while I have just has the same conversation for the 10th time and am getting hacked off. My way of dealing with it now it to avoid eye contact. As soon as u see someone pointing and saying ‘ohhhhh twins’ my head goes down and Im off!!